Such were the joys
(Photo with caption “All aboard with the Wysels for your next trip to Never Never Land.)
There is something lovely about the past. But this loveliness is only available to those who are older and grayer. The young do not have a past to look back upon. The young do have a variety of entertainments, which largely consist of electronic simulations with Snapchat, YouTube, WeChat, WhatApp, Kakao Talk and Instagram. The old do not engage in such things, so we are left with our memories and our Social Security checks for solace.
Memories of a lost childhood would include things like stickball on the streets of Queens, playing stoop ball using a pink Spalding that cost you 25 cents and if you were a girl, you will recall using that thick chalk to draw those hopscotch boxes to jump on. All these memories fade slowly away, but sometimes you hear that artifacts from the past still exist in some faraway place.
Thank goodness the past tends to hang on for dear life. As an example, we will once again see bell bottoms this spring as the fashion industry runs out of innovative ideas and returns to the Late Sixties.
Last week, as I listened to one of my patients free associate, she talked about a store in New Hyde Park called Bobb Howard’s, which sold retro candy and toys, and my interest was piqued. What could be more fun than to get my teeth around some Bonomo’s “smack it and crack it” Turkish Taffy. I preferred vanilla flavor, but my brother favored chocolate. I asked my patient for the address, and I probably would have forgotten about the whole thing except for the following.
I had just received a call from a beer company which asked me if I would be interested in participating in a commercial during March Madness. This company was marketing a beer flavored non-alcoholic lollipop and wondered if I might like to participate as a sport psychologist endorsing this type of candy, which could sooth the agitated sports fans. The theory was that the lollipop would conjure up comforting feelings from the past, which would inhibit the fan’s rage. I thought I was above that kind of commercial sellout, but when they mentioned what they were willing to pay me, my moral stance seemed to evaporate quickly.
At any rate, this incident prompted me to think more carefully about the power of candy and so armed with the address of Bobb Howard’s General Store in New Hyde Park, off I went to visit my past. And I was not disappointed.
I was lucky to drive there on a Sunday, the day they were taking inventory, so we got to chat at length with the owners about all the goodies before me. And there they all were, like little characters from my tooth-decaying past. A great lineup of sacred relics, including Necco Wafers, Pez, Bazooka Bubble Gum, Turkish Taffy, Tootsie Rolls, Baby Ruths, Hershey’s Nestles Crunch and Chuckles.
When I spied the Chuckles, I flashed back to those long summer trips to Maine where we visited my mother’s parents who had a big farm. All five kids were crammed inside my father’s big Cadillac and were each were given one package of Chuckles, which had to last the entire 10 hours. My older brother devised the excellent strategy of sucking on one Chuckle per state. You do the math, five states, five Chuckles. Such were the joys.
In the back of Bobb Howard’s were all those toys and NON-electric board games like Candyland, Slinky’s, Gumby, Pokey, stickball bats, Spaldings, Nok Hockey, jacks, and “I Love Lucy” lunch boxes. The only thing missing were the overpriced. very expensive packages of Duracell batteries. Hallelujah!
The back story is of interest here. Bobb Howard’s is owned by Eileen Caplin-Wysel and Ronnie Wysel, who have been married for 49 years. The store was originally the office for the adjacent gas station and when Eileen’s dad died of lung cancer, she removed all the cigarette cartons and replaced them with candy. She started out just selling bubble gum, but as they kept selling out, she began to expand to other items and now they are the proud owners of this award-winning specialty store with all of its treasured finds from a distant past.
Now let us return to the lollipop beer commercial for a moment because I think that the company is onto something. To be soothed by a lollipop or a Chuckle or a piece of Bazooka Bubble Gum or a Tootsie Roll is a truism. I think the taste of this penny candy does transport one back to carefree times where the only thing one had to worry about was……nothing at all. To be taken back to a time where there is no worry and there is no thought of death or taxes or law suits or illness. This is a very good thing indeed.
The noted psychoanalyst Christopher Bollas coined the term “Transformational Object,” which describes how adults seek out things that remind them of the mother’s loving care. I think his concept may be expanded to include favored memories that lie outside of the mother but still within a cherished childhood. This reminds me of the famous Marcel Proust passage about his childhood memories of tasting Madeline cookies and having aromatic tea on a Sunday morning when he was 7 years old. That passage was responsible for a new research area in psychology called Selective Memory.
Penny candy, Chuckles, long summer days spent in Maine and stickball on the streets of Bayside. How sweet it all was and how sweet it is still.
